Jesus had to die because of this...

I have absolutely no idea what I am about to write. It's just one of those nights where I have a million things are going on in my mind, and I may not be able to go to sleep because of it. First of all JESUS CHRIST is completely amazing. I recently listened to a sermon (what! Jason, you listen to sermons?) talking about idolatry. It was specifically idolatry in ministry, as it was being preached at a pastor's conference. But the thing is I was COMPLETELY guilty of all of it. So I think I am going to write about the idols in my life that have kept me from the love of Christ.

The most prominent and current idol is the idol of knowledge in my life. This has been going on for most of my college and post college years. I love deep Christian books. I just do. I love getting new and different information on Scripture to help my walk. It's probably the main reason I'm just not that patient and knowledgeable when it comes to the Word. This is a huge sin in my life. It leads to arrogance and pride, and I have to check myself so much. When I am debating or talking about Christianity, I HAVE to make sure I am not doing it to look and sound knowledgeable, because everything in me wants to be recognized. I absolutely hate it. I cannot not tell you how much I want to be recognized. I'll tell you where I think it started. When I was a kid I drew all the time. I mean I was drawing Ernie and Bert from Sesame Street at like 2 years old. From then on through school, church or anywhere else, I loved being recognized for my visual arts ability. In high school it probably shifted to wanting to be recognized as a "good/moral person." And in college and now it is wanting to be recognized as a "knowledgeable person of the Bible." This is something I have realized I have to fight. You see before Jesus tackled my heart, I was completely idolizing Theology more than I was idolizing Christ.

It is only by the Holy Spirit can I see this sin in my life, and just because I see it doesn't mean I don't have to fight it anymore. I firmly believe that sin can be conquered, and by the Holy Spirit given to me through Jesus Christ this will be accomplished. But there is SO MUCH work to be done on me. Romans 13:14 says "Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts."

This is how I combat this idolatry and every other one I have. Mark Driscoll says, "Any theology that leads to arrogance and pride is idolatry." When I become prideful of anything I may know and then want to share that to someone in hopes of looking like I have it together, that is idolatry. I MUST PUT ON THE HUMILITY OF CHRIST. I tell myself that Christ gave up part of His divine knowledge to grow up just like I did. He set aside His divinity so that He could add to His humanity. When I say He set aside His divinity I don't mean that He gave up being God. Christ Jesus is God with us and there is no argument about that. He allowed Himself to go through the pains of being like us, having emotions like us, being tempted like us, and He did this all so that He could sympathize with us. Hebrews 4:16 says, "For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weakness, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin." Jesus has gone through everything I have gone through and MORE.

Another application that I have felt change my heart is submitting to the Holy Spirit. When I invite the Holy Spirit to work through me, I am basically saying, "Okay, so in no case ever will the knowledge and understanding I have be able to change someone's heart. Oh Holy Spirit, because of the sacrifice of Jesus, You have been sent to me to speak through me and use me. I don't change the hearts of man. You do."

It really is incredible how much I make good things ultimate things, and then pride is created from that. My pride is ridiculous. It might be the worst of sins because it can cause so much damage. It got Satan kicked out of Heaven. It caused Adam and Eve to disobey God. And it murdered Jesus Christ. Realizing that my pride is exactly the type of pride belonging to the pharisees will humble you really quickly. Not only did Jesus have to die for my sins and idolatry, but I am exactly the type of person who killed Him! Oh all the glory and praise belongs to You, Lord Jesus. When I yell Crucify Him Crucify Him, You plead to the Father to forgive us for we know not what they do. Thank you.

This may make completely no sense, but I am tired now so I will be able to sleep. I'll probably write about another idol of my mine next time. I'm thinking family is next on the list. Peace.