Being pursued by a relentless lover...

"So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him."
-Luke 15:20

"But he became angry and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him."
-Luke 15:28

These two verses show the depth and persistence of the Father's initiating love. Not only do they demonstrate how the Father treats the sinner but also the moralist. If you don't know the context of these verses I encourage you to read Luke 15. It is commonly called the Prodigal Son, but Tim Keller says to treat this story as only about one son would be missing the message completely. You see, the Father pursues both sons. In the first verse it is to the son who spits in his face when he asked him for his inheritance, and in the second verse it is to the son who spits in his face because he only wants the party for himself and not the relationship with the Father. This parable was not only written for the tax collectors (sinners) but also for the Pharisees (moralists), and it is by far my most favorite passage in the Bible. I wish I could go through every single message it contains, but I would be doing the text a severe injustice. Instead, I will recount how the Father pursued me and captured my heart.

As most of you know I left the place I called home for 21 years in the beginning of this year. I left everything that had defined me for most of my life, but especially the last four years. In Charleston I had fellowship and a support system that was the best I had ever had. The people I shared my life with were literally a part of who I was. Why the heck would I have left all that? Flat out, I needed a career and God provided that for me. Leaving was not as hard as I thought mainly because my girlfriend at the time and a few other friends were planning to move close to where I would be. But, three weeks into my new life, the relationship I had ended and things were not looking promising. A brief side note about relationships and me: I have always had them. It is not something I'm proud about, and it is the crux of a lot of sin in my life. The main one is needing the comfort and feeling of being loved by a female (no Mom, you didn't neglect me as a child). So, for that relationship to have ended when I had no friends or family physically around me for support was the hardest thing I have ever gone through, especially because I had convinced myself that I was going to marry this person.

The good things that God had intended all these relationships to be in my life had become ultimate things. Because God is the only infinite entity we have in our whole being, all other things will end at some point besides Him. And just like that the finite aspects of my life were changing and ending because that's just what they do.

Know this though, these things do not just end because that is their nature. The God of our existence has complete and ultimate control of the fixations of this world. So when I say that the most important aspects of my life were taken away, I mean that God either took them away or allowed them to be taken away. This however is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I praise and thank Him everyday for it.

It is the most amazing thing to me. The infinite God of all things loves me so much, that He would change everything most important to me just so that He could bring me closer to His heart. And then to know from scripture that He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7) and doesn't want me to suffer makes me even more joyful. On top of that, this is only a circumstantial demonstration of His love. The ultimate demonstration of His love was letting His Son die in our place. I will write about how this changed my heart later on.

This is what I believe Keller to mean when he says we need the initiating love of God. I'm not saying that we have to sit and wait for Him to make the move, because the fact of the matter is, He has already made the move. What He did on the cross forever bridged us to Him. It's just so amazing to me that He is willing to do more in our lives on top of that! You see I identify with the Elder brother. A lot of my life can be described by the verse as "not willing to go in." I was only a God-fearing man because I hoped for the life God was going to give me. Essentially I, like the elder brother, obeyed God for His things and not for Himself. The Father loves me too much to let me lead that life. I know this because, He CAME out and PLEADED to me!

The next post will explain how the initiating love of God lead me to the repentance of not only the sins in my life, but of the "good" things I do and the motives behind them.